


Shelter

by KALLIOPH



Category: Naruto
Genre: Living Together, Multi, Slow Build, and i'm totally making it up from there, i stopped reading the manga after the village got torn asunder, idk - Freeform, if you couldn't guess from the ship, so cannon non-compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-08-08 19:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16435094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KALLIOPH/pseuds/KALLIOPH
Summary: After the great war, Team Seven does their best to pick up the fragmented pieces of their lives and fit them against one another. Change is painful and scary, but for any number of reasons it is also inevitable. So is love.





	1. Sasuke

**Author's Note:**

> This is wildly cannon non-compliant. I stopped reading years ago for a large number of reasons, but this ship still means a lot to me, and I'm a sucker for a rebuild. There's no reference to an ultimate villain (she looked kinda like a bunny? idk), instead the war and destruction is much more of a general tragedy. I'm not particularly interested in the single villain that can be blamed, so this won't read much like a manga.
> 
> With all those excuses about why you might not like this story out of the way, this has been a labor of love, stirring inside me for years. The story picks up right after the end of the war and follows Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, mainly, with plenty of smaller bits from other characters. Please enjoy!

It’s . . . small. Well, for a single person—or even a couple—it’d be ideal. One bathroom, a cozy living area, one bedroom, and one spare room. The nicest room is the rather large kitchen, comparatively, with a little sundeck that faces south.

“I took measurements. So, the spare room is bigger, so that’ll be the double, and whoever wants the single can work with the bedroom,” Sakura says, carrying in one of their moving boxes. There are four in total.

Sasuke glances around. There are more windows than he’s slept with for years. He wonders if all the light will bother him.

“Would you like the single room, Sasuke?” Sakura asks gently.

Behind her, Naruto’s face burns red at the implication.

“I think Naruto and I should share,” he says stiffly. “You should have the other room to yourself. You are . . .”

“A girl?” Sakura chuckles. “Please, I can’t even count how many times Naruto and I have shared a room on missions or something.” As soon as she’s said it, her face pales and the look in her eyes turns to something akin to panic.

Naruto mutters something about forgetting a box and rushes back out the door.

“Not like that, or anything,” she says quickly. “I didn’t mean—“

“I think Naruto and I should share the room, for exactly that reason,” he says as gently as possible. They’re still very sensitive to talking about their time apart, and truthfully, Sasuke doesn’t know how to broach it either. On the one hand, he walked away, on the other, he cannot help but feel a piercing of his heart whenever they talk about this or that.

It didn’t really happen on purpose, per se, but because it was inevitable. When the war was over a great deal of the city had been destroyed, including more than a few houses. Naruto’s apartment was gone, and so was Sakura’s family home, though her parents saved all of their important belongings. The damn Uchiha complex survived, of course, but Sasuke insisted that it be torn down to build new housing complexes because it made him sick to look at. 

So, technically, all three of them were in need of a new home. Sakura’s parents moved into a new place and welcomed her back home. With nothing else to do at first, Sakura stayed in with them, but she was restless. Sasuke and Naruto moved into some temporary housing, and they both had nothing--what with all of Naruto’s possessions destroyed and Sasuke’s previously travel-centric life-style. The Hokage really wanted to give Naruto some money, just enough, but he insisted that any extra funds be funneled into reconstruction. Sasuke carried meager funds with him, so he kept them alive for a couple of weeks, but even by the end of the first week they were stretching.

Then one day, not entirely out of nowhere, Sasuke supposes, although it sure felt that way at the time, Sakura shows up at their temp complex, knocking on their adjoining doors.

“I got a place,” she says, looking at the ground. In their youth, Sasuke had always had the most money, and he knows Sakura’s family is modest, so this switch seems to embarrass her. “It’s not big, but if you guys want . . .” she inspects the temporary housing to avoid their eyes. “It’s a real place. A home.”

It somewhat shocks Sasuke that Naruto doesn’t dive on the chance right away. Instead he shrugs. “It’s alright, Sakura, I don’t wanna mess up your place. And I can’t pay any rent or whatever anyway, so it wouldn’t be fair.”

She blushes deep, deep red. “I . . . Money’s not an issue right now, I’ve figured out the first couple months on my own. And I . . . it could be our place,” she says, and the impact of those words is lost on no one. This is the olive branch, the peace offering.

Still, Naruto doesn’t take the bait. “You sure you don’t want it to be yours and Sasuke’s place, hm?” he asks, in that juvenile way. Sasuke thinks he wants it to be teasing, but Naruto has quite obviously been holding them both at arms’ length lately, so it feels pointed.

Sasuke and Sakura look at one another, their gazes even. She’s blushing, but she isn’t afraid of him anymore, and he’s trying his best not to be cold because he recognizes her excellence, her singularity. It is the gaze of equals, he thinks, not quite in the way that he and Naruto are, but equal nonetheless.

“No,” she answers Naruto while still holding Sasuke’s gaze. “I don’t. I want you there, too.”

Sasuke breaks the look first to examine Naruto, then Sakura does the same. He looks taken aback, glancing quickly back and forth between the two of them.

“Just say yes, moron, and let’s get out of this dump,” Sasuke rolls his eyes, truly enjoying the thought of leaving the temporary housing and never returning.

“Hey!” Naruto starts, clearly offended, but Sakura brushes right past him and through his door.

“Okay, so what do we need to pack up?” she asks, smiling. She picks up something on the table and sniffs at it. “Ugh, is this spoiled? Gross.”

Sasuke smirks as Naruto follows her in, defending his poorly kept place, before throwing the few things he has into his bag and waiting for Naruto and Sakura to stop bickering long enough to realize he only needs to grab his spare change of clothes before they can leave. They’re going _home_.

***

Naruto slinks back in with a box of potted plants. “I’m with Sasuke. Besides, I snore and you’ve suffered that enough, it’s his turn.”

“Smothering works well for breaking a snoring habit,” Sasuke says coolly, “or so I hear, anyway.”

“You can try to kill me in my sleep if you think you need that handicap,” Naruto teases back.

“Okay, enough,” Sakura rolls her eyes, glancing between the two of them. “If one of you kills the other, I’ll murder the survivor, and this is not a murder house. I have to go get some things from my parents’ house, you two stay here and behave,” she barks, narrowing her eyes pointedly. 

Naruto hold his hands up in surrender and Sasuke begins shuffling around his boxes to unpack.

Naruto goes about setting his plants outside on the deck and Sasuke discovers the laundry closet and throws in a load. Eventually they both end up wandering around the kitchen, inspecting the appliances and sneakily deducing what Sakura has stocked them with.

The sitting room is nice, with a small sofa and a rather large-for-the-room coffee table. Sakura has already hung a couple of pictures on the wall. Sasuke attempts not to notice that he only features in pictures from ten years ago at best.

It comes time to look at the bedrooms, and they stall by inspecting the bathroom, but really there’s noting to note, so they open the door and stare into the larger room.

Sasuke can feel Naruto struggling to say something behind him, so he steps away, then turns around, expectant.

Naruto is still quiet for another moment, and he glares thoughtfully at the ground and won’t meet Sasuke’s eyes.

“What is it?” Sasuke prompts.

“If . . . if you want to share . . . with Sakura . . . I—I wouldn’t mind. It’d be okay, I mean, if—“

“No,” Sasuke holds his hand up. “We’ve made our beds, now we’re going to lie in them.”

His wordplay seems to go over the dolt’s head, which he finds equal parts nostalgically endearing and mildly frustrating. Even more frustrating is that he has not stopped implying things since the moment the war ended and it was no longer life or death.

Naruto still won’t look at him, but he nods and shoulders through the door. Sasuke follows, insistently ignoring Naruto’s juvenile behavior. “There’s plenty of space,” he says.

“Yeah,” Naruto agrees, although his voice sounds flat.

“Are you going to sulk all day?” Sasuke snaps, irritated. “If you’re going to bring the raincloud wherever you go, I’ll make you sleep on the deck.”

Naruto finally, _finally_ looks at him. His eyes are not quite sad, not quite hurt, but perhaps somewhere in between. “I want you to stay,” he says eventually. “Whatever that takes.”

Sasuke’s chest feels like he’s been speared through with ice, but he doesn’t dare show it. “I couldn’t stand to be anywhere else, idiot.”

That pushes his look into despair. “So we’re your last choice, huh?” A small smile creeps over his lips in spite of the hopelessness in his voice.

Sasuke flares with anger. “That isn’t what I said,” he growls. Frustration makes his hands twitch towards fists. He opens his mouth, intending to say something so fucking obvious that even this absolute moron might be able to understand, but the words die in his throat, never even touching his tongue. Instead he clenches his teeth and storms out of the room, petulantly shoving Naruto’s shoulder with his own.

“I’m sorry!” Naruto shouts, scrambling after him. “I’m sorry. Don’t go—“

“I’m not going anywhere! I just—If you’re gonna mope about Sakura—“

“I won’t, I swear,” Naruto promises. He looks like a stray dog and it infuriates Sasuke. _He’s_ the one being an asshole, why should Sasuke feel guilty?

Sasuke closes his eyes and takes a moment to compose himself. “If this is going to work,” he starts slowly, opening his eyes and doing his best to will his meaning into the blond idiot, “you need to hear me. Not what you think you hear—what I actually say. I’m not leaving again.”

 _This is the most important thing I have._ He can’t say it. For all his faults, Sasuke is well aware that he is and has fucked up, and he cannot say the words that would make this better. Instead, he can only hope that Naruto, the boy who has always seen the true intention of a heart, can understand.

“Okay,” Naruto says in a rushed breath. Well, Sasuke thinks, it’s a start. He can’t yet hear what Sasuke cannot say, but it’s enough. It’s a start.

“We need more food,” Sasuke says, shutting down the previous conversation. A look of relief passes over Naruto’s face. Sasuke tries hard not to let it ignite anything within him. “Let’s go to the market.”

Naruto seems content to move on, grabbing his jacket and following Sasuke out the door.

Locking the door feels odd. Sasuke hasn’t locked a door in years. It’s not something he ever missed, but there’s a small thrill in the return of the habit. Naruto leads the way, hands in his pockets, oddly quiet. Sasuke doesn’t mind quiet, but it doesn’t really suit Naruto.

He feels like a spectator the entire trip, following just a foot behind, watching Naruto as everyone who has ever so much as said a hello to him trots up to chat. Naruto, for his part, delights in the exchanges, much lighter and more carefree than twenty minutes ago in their new home. 

Hardly anyone spares a glance at Sasuke, for better or for worse. He doesn’t mind, there’s no one he wants to talk to, not even when people from his class like Hinata or Lee appear. It certainly could be worse; people could swarm him for any number of reasons and be justified. Thankfully, Naruto’s light draws them like moths to a flame.

It takes longer than strictly necessary to get through their shopping because of how frequently Naruto gets stopped. Sasuke reminds himself this is something he ought to get used to—there’s no need to make these trips particularly efficient. He only lets himself get mildly irritated with the inconvenience.

When they’ve finally got everything and Naruto is in a considerably better mood than when they left, Sasuke wastes no time in slipping out of the market and setting a brisk pace for home.

“Got somewhere to be?” Naruto asks, laughter in his voice as he keeps pace with Sasuke.

“Not here,” Sasuke replies.

“Aw, don’t be crabby.”

“I’m not crabby. But I have no reason to linger.”

“They’re just friendly.”

“I don’t need their friendliness,” Sasuke says. He doesn’t mean it to be venomous, just honest. “I have what I need.”

Naruto looks a bit surprised. Sasuke hopes that, as he had requested, Naruto is hearing what he says, not what Naruto thinks he hears.

“Alright then. Let’s go home.”


	2. Naruto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a bitch of a chapter! I find writing for Naruto so much harder than the other two. I'm trying to cycle through each of the three in the beginning, but we'll see if that keeps up for the whole fic. Also, I have no idea what the cannon ages are anymore. I'm sure Shippuden probably thinks it's like a year and a half, but that shit ate YEARS of my life, so I'm deciding that they're all nineteen.

The first morning Naruto wakes up in the new home, he’s surprised to find he recognizes his surroundings. There have been plenty of missions where in the morning haze of waking up, he has no idea where on earth he is, but when he sees the light fighting through the blinds, and the bare wall, and Sasuke’s empty and neatly made bed, he knows exactly where he is.

He can hear Sakura’s voice from the kitchen, which he follows with a yawn and a stretch.

He finds Sakura, and to his surprise Sasuke as well, in the kitchen. Sasuke is leaned against the counter, sipping something warm and steaming, while Sakura shakes her head at a handful of notes, her breakfast sitting unattended beside her.

“Morning,” Naruto says, his voice cracking with sleep.

“Oh, good morning Naruto,” Sakura says, putting her notes down and giving him a smile. “Sleep okay?”

“Great! You two were up early, huh?”

“No,” Sasuke says. “You’re just lazy.”

Naruto thinks that should be an insult (it should), but Sasuke holds out a fresh cup of tea in an invitation to join him by the counter. He takes it with muttered thanks and nearly burns his tongue on the tea. Sakura chuckles at him. She looks happy, but Naruto notices darkness under her eyes.

“Tired, Sakura?” he asks.

She sighs. “Well beyond.” Her head collapses into her hands. “The hospital is crazy. There are so, so many people who need help. There’s this awful virus going around some of the old South district because of ruptured sewer lines leaking into the water supply. First fatality was yesterday, so we’re trying to figure out how to fight it.”

Naruto stares at her. “You’re fucking amazing, Sakura,” he says.

“If I were amazing, I’d have solved it by now,” she mutters, glaring at the notes. “This thing is going to kill more before we figure it out.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Sasuke says without looking up from his tea.

Both Naruto and Sakura stare at him, if only for a moment. It’s been . . . years and years since Sasuke has encouraged either one of them. Naruto thinks he notices Sakura blush, and once again he wonders why on earth he’s here instead of in his own place so these two can do whatever it is they’re doing.

“Thanks,” Sakura says quietly. It feels personal.

“Alright, I’m gonna change and head out for the day,” Naruto announces, chugging the rest of his tea and leaving before either of them notice his completely erratic heartbeat.

“Hey, wait, are you going to see Tsunade today?” Sakura calls after him.

He pretends not to hear her, throws on his clothes, and practically teleports out of the apartment.

It’s a sunny day, although the inkling of fall nips at him in the wind. Not cold, but chilling. Naruto thrives in the heat, but he must admit, this is nice too. He checks the time, only to find it’s about ten o’clock. His meeting with Kakashi and Tsunade isn’t for two hours. He figures he might as well wander a bit, before busting down the door.

He finds himself kicking up dust outside the rubble of the old school, eyes scanning for Iruka. It doesn’t take long for his old teacher to emerge from the ruins with a bright smile on his face and a cheerful hello on his lips. Instantly, Naruto’s chest loosens.

“Hey, Naruto! How are you?” Iruka asks. He claps his hands on the sides of his trousers to clean them off before pulling Naruto in for a hug.

“I’m great,” he smiles. “Can I help at all?” he nods to the building. It used to look so big, Naruto thinks. But at least half of it is missing, so he can’t be sure if it looks smaller because he has grown or because it isn’t all there.

Iruka sighs. “If you want. It’s pretty hopeless, this building. I’m trying to get all the supplies out so we can hold classes in the Hokage’s Hall for the time being.”

Naruto claps him on the shoulder and walks him back inside the building. It’s a little sad, but it’s only a building. There were many, many greater losses. There are a couple other younger teachers inside who greet him pleasantly and seem to be making quick work of the different classrooms.

“How’s the apartment?” Iruka asks, inspecting kunai for flaws before packing them up.

Naruto tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He thinks it’s probably a good thing Iruka isn’t look at him. “It’s great! It’s a really nice place—a lot better than the temp housing.” He dumps some books in a box without checking them.

“Hey, check those for water damage before you throw them in there,” Iruka scolds him. “Well, that’s good to hear. How about Sakura and Sasuke?”

“They’re good,” he says, and that feels less like a lie. He pulls the books out of the box and inspects them one by one.

“That’s good to hear. Any roommate scuffles yet?”

“It hasn’t even been two whole days yet,” Naruto laughs.

“You’ll notice that is not an answer to my question,” Iruka chuckles in response. "The three of you can get a little . . . heated sometimes.”

“We’re fine. We split up the rooms yesterday and Sasuke and I did a little cooking last night, which was good.”

“Oh? Is there a room for each of you?”

“No, uh, that’d be asking a lot right now. Sasuke and I are sharing, and Sakura’s got the single.”

“Huh. Not you and Sakura?”

“Is this water damage?” Naurto asks, trotting over with an open book. It smells musty and the pages are crinkled and distorted.

Iruka looks the book over and grazes it with his fingers, nodding. “Oh yeah, that’s getting moldy. We’re gonna have to toss that one.” He sighs and shakes his head to himself. “Shame, we don’t have a lot of copies of that. Oh well, leave it here for now. Grab your box, we can bring it to the Hall.”

Naruto obliges, grabbing his box and a few others that seem fully packed. Iruka waits for him at the door so they can walk in step and it makes Naruto feel like a kid again, in the best possible way. The sun beaming down on them feels like a memory, and Naruto smiles.

“You look happy,” Iruka says. It isn’t a far walk to the Hall, but neither of them are in a rush, enjoying the walk together.

“Yeah, well, I’m always happy when I get to see you. It doesn’t happen that often any more.”

Iruka’s eyes melt, so kind and happy Naruto almost decides to say something to ruin the mood, but it has been so _long_ since he’s seen Iruka this happy that he decides to let it slide.

“You can always come talk to me,” he says.

“I know.”

“And . . . and tell the other two, too. Any time.”

“I will,” Naruto promises, although he isn’t so sure he’ll keep it. He wants to right now, but who knows about later.

“Well, we’re here,” Iruka nods, dropping his boxes just inside the door. “I’m heading back for more. This is your stop isn’t it?”

“I’m a little early . . .” Naruto says.

“Just go, I’m sure no one is expecting you on time, think about how shocked they’ll be when you’re early!”

“You’re a real jerk!” Naruto shouts through his laughter as Iruka jogs away, waving back at Naruto with a shit-eating grin. Once Iruka is out of sight, Naruto turns and makes his way up the stairs to Tsunade’s office. 

He kicks the door open and shouts at the top of his lungs. “Hey, you old bag, I’m early!”

“Motherf—hello, Naruto,” Tsunade says in a voice that sounds like murder. She steadies her hand on her tea cup, takes the sip that he interrupted, and glares daggers at him when she puts it back down. “You are early.”

Naruto doesn’t respond. His eyes are narrowed at her company: a very familiar pale figure with the composure and countenance of a snake. “Hello, Naruto,” Orochimaru says. Naruto had forgotten how each word from his mouth fell like a melody, but it creates an eerie sense of déjà vu that grips the base of his spine.

“What is he doing here?”

“Having tea,” Tsunade explains as though that were obvious, and Naruto supposes it is, but that’s not _really_ his question. She sighs as his continued hostility. “We’re old and tired Naruto, we can’t hold on to our grudges forever.”

“We were reminiscing,” Orochimaru says. “You see, I very much miss my old friend. Tsunade was just telling me about the last few years. I reminded her of a few childhood anecdotes in return.”

Naruto can feel the sting deep in his heart even before his brain registers that they’re talking about Jiraya. Although he tries not to show it, Tsunade must see it on his face because her demeanor softens. It feels like someone has ripped him open and splayed his guts out on the floor in front of them. It feels like a violation.

“Do you want to join us?” Tsunade asks.

Naruto can’t even begin to describe how vehemently he does _not_ want that. “No,” he says in a broken growl.

“It’s just as well, Tsunade, I ought to take my leave.” Orochimaru stands up and places a hand on her cheek before giving it a peck. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, before vanishing in the blink of an eye.

“Are you seriously talking to that guy? Every day?”

“It’s none of your business, Naruto.”

“The hell it isn’t!”

“Are you sure you want to play this game?” she levels him with a withering glare. “Yours has just as many sins, you know. They both fought on our side, they came home. Just let Orochimaru and I live out the rest of our time as friends. Please.”

Naruto wants to argue with her—Sasuke isn’t like him, he doesn’t play with others for fun, doesn’t twist people like they’re toys—but Tsunade silences him with her eyes.

“The older you get, Naruto, the less black and white matter.”

“Yeah, yeah, the world is full of grey, blah blah, I’ve heard it a million times.”

“There’s plenty of grey, that’s true. But it just . . . it doesn’t matter. It’s easy to place blame in a war, and sometimes it’s right and sometimes it’s wrong, but most of the time it doesn’t matter because you have a war to deal with.” Tsunade stands up and walks around her desk, leaning against it as she stands in front of him. She looks tired. “I want this for you,” she waves her hands around the office, glances out the window, “but if you get so caught up in the right and wrong that you can’t see who needs help . . .” she shakes her head.

“I don’t like him,” Naruto says. He knows it’s petulant, but he needs her to know how he feels. “I like you. You . . . you got so hurt. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

Tsunade looks at him for a moment, with her arms crossed and her eyes unreadable, then she leans in and kisses his forehead. “I like you, too. I’m a smart woman. I know what I’m doing.”

He clutches his necklace in a fist. “Okay,” he says. “I still don’t like him.”

“Good thing he isn’t your friend, then,” Tsunade says, although there is finally some levity in her voice. She glances at the clock hanging on the wall. “Well, Kakashi should be here any minute.”

“He’ll be late,” Naruto assures her.

She chuckles, nodding as she sits back down at her desk. “Fair enough. Well, we’ll get to the meat of it once he gets here, but my plan is for Kakashi to take over as interim, but I want you to do most of the work. We need to get you ready.” She pauses a moment. “Quickly.” It’s almost a whisper.

“Okay, so what do you want me doing?”

“Let’s start with diplomacy. We just ended a war, there is plenty to be done.”

“Travel?” Naruto asks. He isn’t sure whether his heart leaps or sinks at the idea of leaving the apartment.

“Certainly some, but most of it can be done through messengers, hawks, the like. You will get very familiar with the library.”

Naruto gorans.

“Let’s start easy. Sand first.”

Gaara. The smile breaks easy across his face and any qualms with the library are forgotten. “Okay,” he agrees.

“Our relations with them are already pretty good, but as a gesture we should offer aid, particularly medical. We’ll start drafting a plan today; hopefully we can get a hawk out by nightfall. In addition, Stone has already sent us an offer, no doubt to try and show up the Sand. We’ll have to make sure we respond equally to both.”

It’s just past noon, and Naruto knows he has a long, long day ahead of him.

***  
“Hey.”

Naruto blinks and looks up from his half-finished draft of his letter to see Sakura smiling at him. “Sakura,” he says with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I asked you if you were going to see Tsunade today, but I don’t think you heard me. I was going to say I’d be by in the evening and we could meet up.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was in a rush.”

Sakura tilts her head and frowns a bit. “Tsunade told me you were early.”

“I stopped by to help out Iruka for a little while,” he says like that had always been his intention.

“Oh, well that was nice of you. Let me know next time, I’d love to help too.”

“Sure. So what are you doing here?” he asks.

“Hospital stuff. But mostly,” a wicked smile spreading across her lips, “jailbreaking you,” she whispers. “C’mon, it’s almost six o’clock, you’re done for the day.”

He can’t leap up fast enough. Six hours of work is nothing to scoff at (especially for Naruto), but it felt like years.

Sakura laughs at his enthusiasm, grabs his hand, and leads the way out of the building. The sun is setting and it’s cooler out now than it was this morning. Naruto zips up his jacket and shoves his free hand in his pocket.

Sakura pulls him along, down a few back roads before veering onto the main road. The main roads feel fuller, more lively. Naruto finds himself drawn to them these days, because side streets seem broken, abandoned.

They’ve been walking for fifteen minutes before Sakura jogs ahead, dropping his hand.

“What are you looking at?” he asks, shoving his now free hand in his pocket for warmth. 

“We have to get that one,” she says, pointing through the window of a store. Naruto peers through the glass to see what she’s pointing at. It’s a small potted plant, pale green with a little blue flower. It looks like it belongs in a desert.

“Good find!” Naruto says. “He’d look great in the living room.”

“Right?” Sakura says, pulling out her wallet. “I’ll be right back.”

She ducks in to the store and Naruto watches her through the window. She charms the clerk easily and genuinely, fawning over the little plant. He thinks the guy might even fall for her a bit—she’s beautiful when she’s excited. He notices her hair is getting long as she turns around to pay. She’s been wearing it in a braid lately, so he hadn’t noticed, but it’s falling past her shoulders now, loose.

She holds it up to him as she exits the store. “Here, he’s for you.”

“What?” Naruto asks, bewildered.

“Well, when I look at him he reminds me of you. Do you not want him?” her voice falls a little.

“No! No, no. I love him. Thank you. I just meant, why’d you get it for me?”

Sakura shrugs, her smile returning. “I just wanted to.”

He takes his hands out of his pockets to hold the little plant gently, and they don’t feel cold anymore. “Thanks,” he says again, unsure of what else to say. 

“C’mon,” she says. “Let’s get home. We can water him,” she nods to the plant.

He walks with her, the little plant in hand. “I, uh, I really appreciate you breaking me out today, but I might have to do some travel. Maybe a lot. Maybe soon.”

Sakura looks surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he says, firming his resolve and keeping his eyes on the plant. “Tsunade said that diplomacy is really important right now.” He’s not technically lying. He’s not.

“Oh,” she sounds disappointed, but Naruto won’t look. “When?”

“I might leave tomorrow.”

“That’s so soon! How long will you be gone?”

“Not too long. But it isn’t going to be just one trip. We’ll see. Can you make sure he gets water?” Naruto asks, holding up his plant.

“Of course,” Sakura agrees. “I . . . we’ll miss you.”

“Sasuke won’t miss me,” Naruto half-jokes.

“I meant me and the plant,” Sakura quips back.

Naruto laughs. “Well, I’ll miss both of you.”

“Then let’s have dinner tonight, before you go.”

Naruto knows he’s lying, and he knows Sakura would probably kill him for it, but he knows it’s for the best. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll cook, though. You’re not a great cook, you know that?”

“Jerk,” Sakura laughs.

“You didn’t disagree!”

“Shut up,” she rolls her eyes fondly as they climb the stairs to the apartment. “Get your ass in the kitchen before I kick it in there.”

Naruto smiles. Maybe he won’t leave tomorrow, but he probably will.


	3. Sakura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Sakura is fun to write, but man it takes a while. Thank y'all for all the kind words and thoughts they keep me going! There's also a little restructuring (ch1 and prologue combined), so sorry if that confuses anyone, but they more I thought about it, the less sense it made to keep them separate.

When Naruto leaves, the apartment feels a little cooler. The rational part of Sakura thinks it’s probably just her imagination, but she could swear there’s a chill. As soon as he returns, it feels just right again.

Then Sasuke leaves. 

He tells them he’s going, that he’ll be back in two or three days’ time. Sasuke can be callous but he’s not stupid, he sees the looks she and Naruto give him—thin smiles and panicked eyes—and reassures them it’s just a trip, just to escape the prying eyes and constant attention in the village.

Sakura almost volunteers to go with him. She knows that’s not what he wants, and she has the hospital to worry about—but the instinct flares up and she feels ashamed for it.

If Naruto’s absence left her cold, then Sasuke’s leaves her . . . fragile. Everything feels delicate, like it’s waiting to break. Even Naruto seems more careful than usual. It’s exhausting.

Sasuke returns in the dead of night, somewhere between the end of the second day and the beginning of the third, and Sakura feels like she can breathe again. He seems unchanged for the most part, if a little lighter in his oddly Sasuke kind of way, and Sakura wonders if Naruto let out the same held breath that she did upon seeing him.

That’s how it goes, then, for almost two months. Naruto will go away, then once he’s back Sasuke takes his turn. There are a few wonderful days between the cycles where the three of them manage to salvage some time to do chores or get food or train together, but it’s hard with Sakura’s schedule, and before they have time to fall into a rhythm Naruto will leave again. Sakura is some mixture of cold, frail, and tired at any given moment.

It ends up feeling like she lives with one person who is sometimes Naruto and sometimes Sasuke, rather than living with both of them. 

It’s a bit disappointing, really. Who is she kidding? It’s devastating. She’d hoped that living together would encourage the closeness they’d once shared, maybe even more, but no such luck. She knows Sasuke is trying his damnedest to be more open, but Sasuke’s loose is not exactly up to par with the wild, unbridled chattiness of a gravestone, comparatively. The real kicker is Naruto. He’s still Naruto, but he always seems eager to escape her presence. Approaching him, talking to him, feels like twisting his arm even though he always has a smile for her. It’s baffling.

And she knows they hang out when she’s not around, too. 

She feels lonelier than ever.

She sighs, walking home from a long shift at the hospital with aching feet and an aching back and an aching soul. Two months in and nothing, no progress, just a toss up of which of the two people she loves most in the world has decided they don’t want to see her today.

Opening the door to the sight of the two of them almost makes her jump out of her skin. “Oh!” she exclaims, frozen in the doorway.

Naruto has his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder and a bag slung over his own. They turn to look at her. “Ah, Sakura. I was just saying bye to Sasuke. I’ve got a mission, so I don’t think I’ll be home for a little while.”

“What?” she groans. “Really?”

“Well, it’s not really a mission I guess. It’s a project that the old lady’s letting me work on in my free time. Anyway, gotta go!” he says, heading for the door.

In an act of one-part bravery, one-part frustration, she blocks his path. “It’s not a mission?” she asks, her voice low, her eyes challenging.

“Uh . . .” Naruto blinks at her, clearly surprised by her move. “Not exactly?”

“Then sit,” she growls, indicating the living room with a tilt of her head.

“But I—”

“ _Sit_.” She shifts her gaze to Sasuke. “You too.”

Sasuke goes without a word, folding his legs neatly beneath him and waiting. Naruto is still looking past her to the sky beyond her, so she slams the door shut and gives him a turn around. “Just sit, Naruto,” she sighs, exasperated.

He looks hesitant, but does as she says.

She sits before them, taking a moment to revel in the glorious release her feet feel not to be supporting her full weight, before glaring at both of them. “This is a house meeting,” she declares. “Something we have not been able to have because apparently neither of you wants to live in this house. You could have said no. I wouldn’t have been upset if you two wanted to get a place without me,” she lies. It would have cut her more deeply than she can imagine.

“What? Sakura—“ Naruto begins to protest, but she cuts him off.

“You’re taking turns suffering through me, I know. Don’t pretend. I have feelings but I’m not made of glass. And I’m not dumb, either.”

“No,” Sasuke says quietly.

“Then what? Do I need more deodorant?”

She thinks she hears Sasuke chuckle, but she isn’t sure, her ears are ringing. “No, Sakura. This is me, not you. I’m . . . readjusting. Konoha . . . it isn’t home yet. I’ve been away so long I’ve become accustomed to a different way of life. I’m finding a way to reconcile the two. I’m finding balance, but sometimes the scale tips the other way. Sometimes this place . . .” he steels himself, “it’s just too much. Not here,” he indicates the apartment, “but the city.”

Instantly, Sakura regrets her accusatory tone. She knows he’s struggling, but he’s _trying_ , and she should know that. Even though it’s not everything, trying is a start. “Okay,” she says softly. “Okay, Sasuke. I understand.” She turns on Naruto, not quite so gentle. “What’s your excuse?”

He shrinks. “Are you gonna punch me?”

“What? No, Naruto, I very much want to talk, not punch.”

He sits back up but his eyes are trained on the ground, knuckles white. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“Bullshit,” she sneers. “Naruto, come on,” she softens her voice, her gaze. “It’s me.”

“I know,” he says, “I’m . . . It’s for you.” His eyes flit between Sasuke and Sakura. “Both of you.”

Sakura meets Sasuke’s eyes and something clicks for both of them. Sasuke punches Naruto’s shoulder hard enough that it’ll leave a nasty bruise. “Don’t try and make my decisions for me, dead last,” he growls

“Ow! I thought we said no hitting!”

“Sakura promised that, not me.”

“And I’m starting to regret it,” Sakura adds, crossing her arms over her chest. “What gave you the idea that we want you to play matchmaker?” Her feelings for Sasuke are complicated, to say the least. She still loves him, that much is true and probably always will be, but things aren’t so simple any more.

“I was only trying to do what I thought you wanted,” Naruto mumbles, rubbing his shoulder.

“Did you ask either of us what we wanted?” Sakura presses. She knows that he’s rash, headstrong, but she’s genuinely hurt. It had been the two of them for so long, together through everything, and yet he hadn’t bothered to ask what she wanted.

“No,” he admits. “But Sakura, your feelings, have they changed?”

She takes a deep breath and looks at Sasuke, who looks right back at her. His gaze is even and, well, not _inviting_ , but he doesn’t ward her off which is something. There’s no judgement in his eyes, allowing her to see him for what he is and accepting it.

“Yes,” she decides. Sasuke’s head tips minutely, almost imperceptibly, but he says nothing. “I am who I’ve always been, but I’m older now, Naruto,” she says, turning back to him. “I see things much more as they are. I come home every day with exhaustion so deep it hurts in my bones. Sasuke and I are finding the ways we fit into each others’ lives again, and you, too. That’s what’s most important to me right now: coming home to the two people I care about most.”

Naruto looks shocked, his blue eyes wide and startled. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the little plant she bought for him, whose blue flower looks just like his eyes. He says nothing for a long while until Sasuke shakes his head and nudges him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Naruto, but you haven’t said any of those words _out loud_ yet.”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out immediately. “To both of you.”

Sakura nods. “It’s okay. But this,” she indicates the three of them, “is not something I’m willing to compromise on. I know we’re not exactly what we used to be, but we were a team and I think we still are. I want that, but it can’t happen without all of us. So, no more two-at-a-time shifts, okay?”

“Okay,” Naruto nods, still a bit sheepish and blushing, but earnest.

“Yes,” Sasuke says.

Sakura lets out the breath held deep in her lungs and collapses dramatically to the floor. “Good. I’m exhausted and I never want to move again.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes and stands up, heading for the kitchen. “I’ll make some dinner.”

“Make something good, like ramen!” Naruto calls after him. A fork spears through the air and Naruto yelps as he avoids it.

“I’m not your waiter, dumbass,” Sasuke growls.

Naruto laughs and Sakura smiles up at him from her husk on the floor. She hasn’t seen a real smile from him in longer than she cares to admit. It warms something inside her that has felt cold for months. She can’t help but let a small smile spread across her own face, much to Naruto’s delight.

He lies down on his belly, chin on the back of his palms. His gaze can be overwhelming, she thinks, like staring at the sun. It’s beautiful and bright but she can’t look for long without burning up.

Soon enough the small flat fills with the smell of cooking food and dim chatter between Sakura and Naruto, with the occasional shout to Sasuke. Despite it’s sudden nature, the shift feels organic. By the end of the night, when Sakura closes her eyes, she feels like she’s glowing with the warmth of a home. Somewhere along the evening her hand and Naruto’s inch little by little into one another and by the time she realizes it, she doesn’t feel compelled to pull away.

***

“We should have company over sometime,” Sakura thinks aloud. It’s her only night off for the week, and she’s spending it her favorite way: sitting in the little living room with her legs tucked up on the couch while she pores over the hospital reports with Naruto and Sasuke sitting kitty-corner at the coffee table, reading through whatever homework Tsunade has given this week.

“Yeah!” Naruto’s head snaps up to announce excitedly at the same time Sasuke’s lip curls and he snarls, “Should we?” 

Sakura almost laughs. “Well, I like our place.”

“Isn’t that the point though? It’s ours, not anyone else’s.”

“Ignore the bitch,” Naruto turns around, leaving Sasuke to do the work in front of them. “Let’s do it.”

“We can start easy,” Sakura offers as a compromise. “Maybe just Kakashi?”

“And Iruka!”

“Well, then we can’t leave out Yamato.”

“Or Sai. A Team Seven dinner!”

Sakura does not miss the prickle in Sasuke’s demeanor at the mention of Sai’s name, nor the flash of white-hot anger through his eyes as he continues to pretend to focus.

“Maybe just Kakashi,” she says.

“No way, the whole team!”

“Iruka wasn’t our sensei,” Sasuke says with a measuredly even voice, and if Naruto notices, he doesn’t act like it.

“Well, no, but he deserves the credit for starting us off together, doesn’t he?”

“Naruto, I don’t know that we need to host a whole party,” Sakura says as gently as possible. Sasuke looks like he may burn a hole through the papers for how hard he’s staring.

“What? It was your idea to have company; I think we should do it. Why not invite the most important people over first?”

Sasuke stands up suddenly. He levels Naruto with a cold, withering glare, then storms out of the living room.

Sakura sighs, setting aside her notes and unfurling her stiff legs.

“What the hell was that?” Naruto asks. His voice is a little quieter than usual, cowed—though only slightly—by Sasuke’s outburst.

Sakura shakes her head and pats Naruto’s silly blond head. “I’m going to talk to him. You do your work.”

Naruto looks equal parts confused and annoyed, now that no one is there to help him, but he at least pretends to look over his work while Sakura hobbles down the hall to the boys’ room with one leg asleep.

She knocks lightly on the door. “Can I come in?”

All she hears in response is a muffled grunt, but she assumes that means yes.

She opens the door. Sasuke stands on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and staring out the window.

She sighs, closing the door behind her and stands on the other side of the window to give him enough space. “This is our place,” she says.

Sasuke doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even acknowledge her presence.

She presses on. “Which means, no one who makes us uncomfortable is invited. Ever.”

“Us,” Sasuke spits.

“Sasuke, you haven’t even really met him.”

He looks at her with his dark eyes hard and hurt. “Not without reason.”

“You have nothing to worry about.”

Sasuke frowns. “Don’t I?”

Sakura steels herself. “You left, you know. And we waited. We didn’t try to replace you.”

He looks away again.

“If it helps, he’s not really very much like you. Not once you get to know him.”

Sasuke snorts. “That’s not what I hear.”

Sakura rolls her eyes. “He’s cute and he’s got dark eyes, that’s about it. He’s dumber than Naruto when it comes to social cues. He’s weird as hell. He’s blatantly rude and insulting. He holds nothing back.”

“Why the hell would you even like him?”

Sakura shrugs and sighs. “Well, when he’s quiet, it’s because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a talented artist. He’s very loyal. Even when he’s rude he can be kind. And, to be perfectly honest, the cuteness _is_ a factor.”

She catches the small inclination towards a smile at that last statement. “He sounds like an idiot.”

“He is,” she agrees. “But I have a soft spot for idiots. And I think Naruto recognizes a kindred spirit.”

Sasuke’s shoulders drop a fraction of an inch, so Sakura seizes the moment. “I asked you two to move in with me. It never even occurred to me to ask Sai. I don’t want to. You and Naruto are it, and no one can replace the two of you. Our lives didn’t stop because you were gone. Sai is a part of our lives now, you certainly don’t have to like him—hell, half the time I don’t—but if we’re going to live our lives together, we need to compromise on a couple of things. Sai is one of them.”

Sasuke inspects her. She always feels like she has to wonder what it is he sees, but this time she just lets him look without imposing any assumptions. “Fine,” he says. “But I don’t have to like him."

“Don’t worry,” Sakura says. “You won’t. I’m sure of it.”

If her eyes don’t deceive her, he actually smiles. It’s small, closed lips, but he looks almost relieved. Her tired legs feel strong again and she knows she’s blushing something fierce, but the sensation of Sasuke smiling at her is too nice to ruin by turning away. He knows how she feels (or she hopes he does); she thinks she’s been rather clear about that, and he smiled at her anyway, so she has nothing to be ashamed of. “Thank you, Sasuke.”

He shrugs, though the smile doesn’t fade from his face. “I said I was trying. I have to follow through.”

Syrupy warmth spreads through her from core to fingertips and she feels strong. “That’s all we can do,” she agrees.

Maybe they’re all going to be okay.


	4. Sasuke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo! this was a very fun chapter, even if it took a while to write. special thanks to everyone who has commented, you're all much too kind, but a very special thank you to lightbringer34, who inspired me to really dive in and finish this one up! enjoy my longest chapter to date!

Sasuke tells himself he can behave; he’s _going_ to behave. He is.

Naruto invited “Team Seven” over the day after Sakura proposed the idea and she warned Sasuke he had a week to prepare. She had a smile when she told him, but he is pretty sure she meant it.

He leaves for two days after that. Just to breathe. Sometimes it feels like he can’t breathe.

It’s all he can think about from the moment he steps out of the apartment. He’s seen Sai around, been there when Naruto or Sakura run into him and exchange brief but intimate moments of conversation. Sakura is more physical with him than she is with Naruto. She hugs him and bumps him with her hip and pats his cheek. She looks like a young girl, something she doesn’t have much time or energy for these days. For his part, Naruto is friendly as ever, but there’s a calmness about him when he’s around Sai. He smiles without having to bounce off the walls at every moment—no over the top act just to draw a smile out of someone. Sasuke hates everything about how they are around him. He’s a second home, somewhere they feel safe.

Sakura and Naruto like other people. Sasuke doesn’t have the desire to really bother with them, but he can accept that they enjoy other peoples’ company as long as he knows they will come back to him. He doesn’t feel the spark of hatred when Hinata (very clearly in love with Naruto, though willing to put aside her feelings for his sake) or Ino (Sasuke’s mind still isn’t made up about whether she’s in love with Sakura or just loves her very deeply. She’s been distant lately, so Sasuke can’t get a good read) approach his teammates. If anything he finds them slightly more tolerable—at least they have something in common. Sai loves them (is in love with them?) too, but when he looks at Sasuke there’s disgust in his eyes, like one might feel for a cockroach or rotting meat. It isn’t blatant, but Sasuke knows his way about a withering look, and what Sakura and Naruto miss Sasuke sees clear as day. It drives him mad to listen to Sai’s incessantly pleasant voice carry on with his teammates while his eyes attempt to will Sasuke out of existence, and, worse, he can’t say anything about it because liking him blinds them to what a bitter, distasteful person Sai is. Sakura already chewed him out for it once and although she was rather accommodating to his frustration, he can’t push his luck. She was fair enough—compromises are a part of their lives now. From small things like whose turn it is to clean the kitchen, to these much larger accommodations like allowing a loathsome person into their home. 

His friends may hold out hope that this dinner will be a chance for Sasuke and Sai to bond, but Sasuke knows how this ends already: one of them wins and one of them loses. Sasuke knows that, currently, he’s the winner, but he’s not stupid or blind enough to miss the fact that this weird, unsettling idiot is gunning for his throne.

Sasuke returns to the village a few days before this supposed “team dinner” is scheduled to happen, but instead of returning home first thing, he wanders around the city to burn off some of his foul mood. Most everyone he passes gives him a wide berth. Until—

“Yo.”

Sasuke’s lip curls out of habit, but he’s actually quite grateful for Kakashi, perched on the roof of a nearby building, and the instant feeling of childishness that washes over him. “What are you doing?” Sasuke asks. He’s seen Kakashi a number of times since his return, but despite how Sasuke feels around him, they haven’t spoken about anything important since his return. On some level, although it may be unfair, Sasuke just expects him to _know_ how he feels.

“Relaxing,” Kakashi replies, stretching his arms above his head. “This hokage business is rough. I’m not cut out for being needed all the time.”

“So, you’re slacking,” Sasuke amends. He rolls his eyes and keeps walking. He hears Kakashi’s feet pound the dirt as he leaps off the roof and follows behind him at a leisurely pace.

“You’re very mean, you know,” Kakashi says.

“Are you new around here? I’ve always been that way.”

“No! Well, maybe you were, but at least when you were little it was cute.”

Sasuke growls under his breath.

“My you’re touchy. More than usual. What’s got you all worked up, Sasuke?”

“It couldn’t possibly be that my lazy ex-teacher won’t leave me alone.”

“No, that would be irritated at best. You’re fully pissed off.”

Sasuke directs them towards an abandoned, unfixed part of town, lest this get ugly. “You’re really annoying.”

“And you haven’t said one thing of substance since I said hello. Reactionary, I see.”

Sasuke weighs the pros and cons of just disappearing, teleporting elsewhere, but it just doesn’t seem worth it. It would take energy, and he can’t let Kakashi know that running from him would be worth it—and by no means does he decide not to run because he actually _wants_ to be around Kakashi. His mentor has always understood the darker parts of him, always accepted him in spite of it (or perhaps because he understood), and stood by him through a great deal. No, that has nothing to do with it.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi says, the jovial edge of his voice dulled. “I’m pretty sure I know why you’re upset.”

Sasuke turns to face him. “You think so?”

Kakashi sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and shaking his head at the look Sasuke gives him. He looks tired. “Are you going to keep this up? You’re acting like a brat.”

“No, I am not,” Sasuke says. He knows it sounds petulant, but dammit he isn’t.

“Yes, you are. You’re not twelve anymore. You might want to talk about your problems instead of letting them stew.”

“Not that it’s your concern,” Sasuke says with as much condescension as he can muster, “but I have talked about . . . this.”

“I don’t mean letting Sakura tell you what’s what, although you may want to listen to her; she’s probably right. You should talk to Sai.”

“No.” There is ice in Sasuke’s voice, brittle and cold. “I have nothing to say to him. Sakura and Naruto tolerate him, so I won’t do anything they wouldn’t like, but I do not need his approval.”

Kakashi leans against a wall, letting his head fall against it in a curious tilt as his single exposed eye looks him over, at once both lazy and calculating. Sasuke shifts weight between his feet, bothered by Kakashi’s lack of response. “What?” he demands.

“Tolerate him? You’re lying to yourself, Sasuke. They care for him, they love him.”

Sasuke narrows his eyes. “Well, I’ve never accused Naruto of being particularly bright, but Sakura at least had that going for her. If she can’t see through him then she’s not as intelligent as I thought.”

“See through what, Sasuke?” Kakashi sounds exhausted. “Sai is straight forward with them. He’s kind to them because he likes them. You can hate him as much as you want, but he was there for them. He helped them when they were hurting. For years.”

The way he talks about _them_ , always together, a unit, makes Sasuke uncomfortable in a way that fills him with anxiety and fear. They sound like a couple, and while Sasuke knows he shouldn’t care about that— _it’s not even what they’re talking about_ —he feels guilty and irrationally jealous. “Then why didn’t they ask him to move in instead of me?” In his head, it was a biting, argument-winning rhetorical question after which he might just stride away with a haughty sense of superiority.

In reality, he sounds abandoned, horrified, and very, very much like the child he has insisted several times to his teacher that he is not. If the dawning realization that not only does Sai deserve this more than he does, but also that he is terrified that some day they’ll realize it, he might feel embarrassed or ashamed. As it stands, he can’t look Kakashi in the eye so he fixes his wide-eyed gaze on the ground, unable to drive away the beast of emotion gnawing on his insides with the usual, cool, rational thought he prides himself on.

Suddenly, there is a warm, gloved hand on his shoulder, and, although they are almost the same height now, Kakashi ducks into his view. “I don’t say it to hurt you, Sasuke,” his voice is quiet, almost kind. “They’ve forgiven you, and I want you to be worthy of that forgiveness. But you cannot be complacent. As soon as you are no longer good for the team—good for _them_ —things will change. Be an adult. Talk to Sai.”

Sasuke closes his eyes. To say he leans into Kakashi’s hand would be an overstatement, but he certainly doesn’t pull away. He knows that this feud is petty, stupid, and (frankly) quite egotistical, but he cannot help but feel cornered when Sai is brought into the conversation, like a feral animal defending his home.

“I do believe in you, Sasuke,” Kakashi murmurs, and Sasuke wonders if he really meant to say that out loud. Still, it’s nice to hear.

Sasuke nods, slightly, and fights to say the words _thank you_ , but they just won’t come. It’s humiliating and frustrating and absolutely irrational—all things Sasuke considers well beneath himself—but he just can’t say it.

Thankfully, Kakashi doesn’t need to hear it. He grins beneath his mask, quickly ruffles Sasuke’s hair, and vanishes before Sasuke can cut his arm off for it.

Someday, Sasuke decides. Someday he’s going to be able to say it.

***

Sai lives in a temp complex—a different one than Sasuke and Naruto had been holed up in before Sakura’s offer, but near by. Two days stand between Sasuke and the Team Seven dinner, and he’s been mulling over Kakashi’s words, and the difficult, stirring feeling that they have awoken inside of him. His chest feels tight, and he constantly feels the need to do something. He isn’t sure what yet, so he’s made very meal and done every chore the past few days. It’s not enough, but it’s better than nothing, and it seems to make Naruto and Sakura a little happier.

Sasuke sighs to himself, half annoyance, half anxiety. There’s no telling exactly why this utter deadbeat inspires anything other than passing irritation, but he does, and so Sasuke has decided he ought to follow the advice of perhaps the only two people he would even consider following advice from.

He knocks, abrupt and sharp, then stands back and waits for the door to open. He can’t hear anything on the other side, but Sai seems to take the exact appropriate amount of time to answer. Sasuke can’t decide if that’s weird or not.

There’s no surprise on his face or in his eyes. “Hello, Sasuke,” he says in a pleasantly hollow voice. It is an evening shadow of civility, stretched and drawn to a monstrous likeness that hardly resembles it’s original shape.

“Hello,” Sasuke replies, dryly.

Sai steps aside to allow Sasuke in, and he somewhat awkwardly slips past him, although he tries not to let on that the proximity makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Sai doesn't make it easy on him. Sasuke has a particular loathing for the way this freak stares at his friends, but the way Sai looks at him bothers him in a different way. Sasuke has never in his life been looked at as less than. There has been the reverent admiration of young girls in love, the pitying look of those who know his plight, the fiery leer of jealousy, and of course the respectful (if also furious) gaze of equals in his teammates’ eyes. No one worth his time has every looked at him like this.

“I’ve been told I ought to get used to you.” Sasuke says, skipping any facade of kindness.

The smile drops off Sai’s face, for which Sasuke is minutely grateful. Still, it brings into focus the strange observational quality in his gaze, as though he’s studying Sasuke’s actions and reactions. “Have you?”

Sasuke lets his eyes drift around the apartment. It’s relatively empty, with a few paintings hanging on the wall, though Sasuke suspects they also double as protection. It’s a darker place than theirs, with one window in the kitchen that faces East, and although there is a lamp in the sitting room it remains untouched. Sasuke expects Sai to clear his throat or fidget to get his attention again (like a normal person), but he just stands there, watching him and Sasuke can _feel_ it in his skin, like bugs crawling through his veins. Sasuke takes a few more moments just to prove his point before turning back to Sai. “I have,” he says.

“You have.”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

It’s like pulling teeth, talking to this guy.

Something about his face must give that a way, because there’s a little tick at the corner of Sai’s mouth and he tilts his head to the side just a bit. “Is there something else I can do for you, Sasuke?”

He struggles not to say _fuck off_ , but narrows his eyes—which he’s confident that does the trick for him. “I can do it. Get used to you. You have to do the same,” he challenges. “Because I’m here, now, and I intend to stay.”

The image of Sakura’s face, half drenched in moonlight, hair pulled back in a messy braid and smiling fondly with a light blush on her cheeks is clear in his mind. A softness he’s felt for her since just after becoming a team that has been carefully kept at bay now nestles in his chest. Sai will have to rip that out of his beating heart if he intends to take it away. Of course, he won’t let that on; he’d rather make this stand as a stubborn, angry ninja (which, to be fair, he is that as well), lest this idiot realize Sasuke feels so threatened by him.

“Hm,” Sai nods. “You’ve already left several times, though, haven’t you Sasuke?”

His name sounds contemptible in Sai’s mouth. “Keeping track of my comings and goings, huh?” Sasuke retorts. It’s certainly a twist on Sai’s observation, but it seems to irk him in just the way Sasuke had hoped it would. “I plan to live the way I chose regardless of how tasteful you find it. I’m willing to allow you the same kindness.”

“I don’t believe you know what kindness is.” Sai’s voice is near chipper despite his scathing words.

“Take my offer and I suppose you’ll find out one way or another,” Sasuke replies. 

Sai inspects him from head to toe, and Sasuke hides neither his hostility nor his sincerity. Sai crosses his arms. “What exactly is your offer?”

“Do as you please. Live as you please. Keep my teammates in your life. But know that they are my teammates first, and that they chose me. Accept that, and I will tolerate you. Sakura told me I ought to get used to you, but you should know you have to get used to me as well.”

Sai stays quiet for a good while, just staring at Sasuke, perhaps thinking, perhaps entirely blank. Sasuke doesn’t know, he doesn’t understand how this guy’s brain works. 

“If you hurt them again, the way you did last time, I’ll kill you,” Sai says, finally. Despite the threatening words, there’s a tone of concession in his voice.

“You can certainly try,” Sasuke has to stop himself from laughing as he agrees. “And if you ever try anything yourself, know I’ll do the same.”

That, of all things, elicits a genuine smile from him, and Sai nods slightly. “I accept your terms.”

“Good. Don’t be late on Friday,” Sasuke says, turning to head back out the door. He can hear Kakashi’s last words ringing in his ears, and they give him pause at the threshold. “Bring on of your paintings,” he says, purposefully cool. “They’d love to have one hanging up in the apartment.”

***

Sasuke takes Naruto shopping for ingredients on Thursday, where Sakura meets up with them halfway through just because. She and Naruto chat excitedly about what dishes to make while Sasuke quietly stocks up with about an eighth of what they suggest because they’d need a week to prepare everything those two talk about. Naruto peels an orange and slips sections into Sasuke’s hand every now and then, and although it’s not his favorite fruit Sasuke finds himself hungry for it.

Back home Sakura straightens up while Sasuke and Naruto get as much ready as they can ahead of time in the kitchen. Naruto practically dances through the small space, grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re excited,” Sasuke observes, although really it’s an invitation for Naruto to share whatever is running through his head.

“Hell yeah! We got some great food, the whole team is coming over, and Tsunade promised to give me a light day tomorrow so I could enjoy it!”

Sasuke shakes his head. Naruto is over the moon—and after a few months of him being an anxious, self-exiling sad sack, Sasuke decides to let him have this relatively small victory. He’s been better, recently. Not as distant or quiet, though sometimes Sasuke is sure he shrinks himself for their sake. It’s not as obvious or planned as it was before Sakura gave him a proper dressing down, but it’s things like silently slipping orange slices into his hand instead of making a scene of it.

It hurts, in a small way. Despite . . . everything, he had hoped that the fiery, fierce feelings Naruto used to inspire in him—the thing that drove him and aggravated him and made him feel _something_ —might return, but they hadn’t. Worse, Naruto—who _always_ felt too much—seems devoid of them as well.

Perhaps it’s not such a small pain after all.

That night Sasuke wakes up in the middle of the night and catches Naruto sitting up in bed, staring out the window. 

Sasuke is careful not to alert Naruto to the fact that he has woken up, remaining still and keeping his breathing as close to sleep as possible. He watches Naruto for a long while, as the other man shifts constantly, if minutely, in his bed. The look in his eye is wild, glinting in moonlight like a feral creature, like he could run for days and still need more. His chakra, the sheer intensity of his energy, is what woke Sasuke up, he realizes. The way it flares and spasms with abandon makes Sasuke’s skin feel like it’s on fire. There is so much life in his veins, coursing through his body with reckless abandon, and Naruto breathes deeply as he works to suppress it, slowly and with a great deal of effort. For what Sasuke thinks must be the better part of an hour, Naruto just focuses on trying to settle his chakra pulse.

Eventually he does, and by that time Sasuke is so in tune with his teammate’s chakra that he falls back asleep with him

“Did you feel anything last night?” he asks Sakura as he walks with her to the hospital the next morning.

“What do you mean feel anything?”

“Just—did anything wake you up?”

“No, but these days I could sleep through an earthquake. Why? Did something wake you up?”

“Hm,” Sasuke shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Alright, well, see you for dinner tonight?” she asks. As if he has a choice.

“Tonight,” he agrees.

It is a long day, and the odd incident with Naruto last night keeps slipping into his mind and making it feel longer. With nothing in particular to do, Sasuke finds most days in the village that he doesn’t spend with Naruto or Sakura are quite long.

He has to find something to do, he decides, or he’ll go crazy.

Or leave.

But that’s not an option anymore, so back to plan A. There’s not a whole lot of literature on the subject, but Sasuke has exhausted all there is on traitors. The truth is: none of them really come back. Once the decision is made, the only end is termination, either by the village or some other enemy. Once or twice during a war someone has defected and apparently lived out the rest of their life elsewhere in a rival village, but neither side seems particularly forthcoming with the information.

There’s no guide on how to return home.

It’s frustrating, but at least frustrating is something. Sasuke has done more than most ever will in a lifetime, but he cannot be done when his teammates are just getting started. If he’s going to live his life along side them (as he intends to) he’s going to need something to do.

He spends his day picking through the library for relevant literature, mostly coming across the same few stories he practically knows by heart, now, and any other spare moment is spent pondering the odd restlessness of Naruto last night. If he lives through this dinner tonight, he thinks he’ll try to do something about that.

All things considered, it’s a rather uneventful dinner.

Naruto and Sakura do most of the talking. Iruka is as kind as Sasuke remembers, and he spends a little while making small talk with him while Iruka just beams. Eventually Kakashi and Iruka start talking to one another and although it’s not exclusive, they take up together for most of the night. Yamato seems fine to Sasuke, a little more clinical than the other two teachers, though warm enough with Naruto and Sakura. He is polite and agreeable to Sasuke, but not particularly interested in being close. Sasuke respects his behavior and lets him enjoy the parts of the night he clearly signed up for: he seems happy to spend some time with Naruto and Sakura, to meet Iruka, and to catch up with Kakashi.

And Sai.

He keeps a respectable distance from Sasuke the entire night. They greet one another, mostly for show because Sasuke can feel the weight of the gazes on him, but go about their evenings rather separately. Naruto has absolutely no qualms trying to engage the both of them in his conversation. Sakura has a little more sense about her, but eventually the teachers break off after dinner and the four students are left to themselves.

“Hey, Sai, are you looking for a permanent place now?” Naruto asks.

“No,” Sai replies, as if that’s all Naruto is looking for. Sasuke can’t help but shake his head a bit, although he disguises it as a response to the after-dinner drink in his hand.

“What? Why not?”

Sai looks thoughtful. “I don’t have anywhere I’m looking to go.”

Sasuke bristles.

“I’m sure something good will turn up,” Sakura says. Sasuke wonders if she could sense his unease.

“Perhaps. In the mean time, I’m in no rush.”

Naruto leans against Sasuke’s shoulder as he shifts in his seat to find a comfortable position. If this were a normal day, Sasuke might have snapped at him, but today he can let it slide. His gaze flickers over to his friend and Naruto grins back. “Am I squishing you?” he asks, though Sasuke is rather sure he doesn’t actually care. 

“No, you’re . . . fine,” he mutters, slightly begrudging. He takes another sip of his drink and he can hear Naruto chuckle when his muscles spasm in response.

“How has the hospital been?” Sai asks Sakura.

She shakes her head. “It’s a mess, honestly. It’s old and can’t house all the patients we need to.”

“She pretty much runs it all on her own,” Naruto says with the casual nonchalance of a brag.

“No I don’t. It’s Tsunade’s hospital, and there are tons of other healers.”

“Yeah, but Tsunade is training me so she’s never there, and you’re next in charge.”

“Well . . . there’s Shizune . . .”

“It’s a lot of work, though,” Sasuke says. “And your pay is abysmal compared to the work you do.”

“It’s enough. And no one can expect much nowadays.”

Sasuke at once admires Sakura for her dedication, and also despises the way she belittles her contribution. Altruism is just another way to get hurt.

“I admire your dedication,” Sai says. “But shouldn’t you be careful about wearing yourself out? You don’t have limitless chakra reserves.”

“I’m fine, really. It’s not so bad. And I never have to worry when I come home because these two can cook with the best of them,” she beams at the two of them.

“I should hope they can do at least that for you.” His tone is so polite, so fucking jovial that Sasuke wants to shove his head through the table just so that he might say what he actually means.

“Of course! I wish she’d let us do more for her,” Naruto says. He doesn’t even look at Sai as he says it, glancing over at the teachers. Sasuke readjusts his shoulder against Naruto’s back so it’s more comfortable.

“Hm,” Sai hums. “So what do you do during the day, Sasuke? You must pass the time you do spend in the village somehow.”

“He reads,” Sakura answers quickly. “He reads all the time.”

“And he does a lot of the shopping and cleaning,” Naruto adds, although he frowns at himself after, like maybe he shouldn’t have said it. Sasuke nods slightly to him in approval, though. It’s true, and Sasuke is happy to do the domestic chores he’s missed for nigh eight years.

“I was thinking of picking up a hobby,” Sasuke says, as cool and collected as he can. “Perhaps you can show me how to paint some time? It seems like a very accessible hobby.”

There is no mistaking the sharp, angry look Sai gives him. Even Sakura and Naruto notice. They’d say he’s gone too far, but Sasuke know a thing or two about limits. “But you’re very talented. And I doubt I’d have the patience for it.”

Sai’s anger lingers another moment before he dispels it. “Of course, Sasuke. If you ever decide to try it, please come to me. I’d be honored to help you.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke says.

“That actually reminds me,” Sai says, leaning over and digging into the bag at his feet. He sits back up with a scroll of thick, high quality parchment bound with a little red string. “A house warming gift, and a thank you for tonight,” he says, drawing his finger along the rolled up edge. He holds it a moment longer than Sasuke expects him to, but then—much to his surprise—Sai hands it to him. He scrambles to remember what the paintings he saw hanging up in Sai’s apartment were, so he might be able to predict what he’s in for as his hand gently begins to pick at the red string.

“It’s a new piece. I did it this week. The three of you inspired me.”

The first thing Sasuke notices is the utter, breathtaking detail. Before he can take in the actual contents of the painting, he is struck by how there is hardly room to breathe—no wasted space—full to the brim with careful, perhaps even loving, brush strokes. Sasuke doesn’t know a great deal about art, but someone with an intention to breathe as much life into it as possible did this. Eventually, his gaze pulls back from the exquisite detail and lets himself just look. A snake, a toad, and a slug. The snake coils and winds through the entire piece like a ribbon, while the toad dances about, almost feigning movement with his vibrant lines. The slug breaks the noise—the least detailed—but elegant and powerful in her presence.

Naruto nearly falls out of his chair. “Shit. Sometimes I forget how good you are.”

Sakura gets up and stands behind Sasuke to look for herself. The way her hand clamps down on his shoulder in response will leave a bruise. “Sai, this is . . . _stunning_.”

Sasuke takes a few breaths, still letting his eyes take in each excruciating, exquisite detail. “Thank you,” he says, and finally, finally, he feels entirely honest. “We’ll have to get it framed,” he thinks aloud, looking up to Sakura.

“Yeah,” she agrees breathlessly, reaching out a hand and gently brushing her fingertips against the paper.

“We can go tomorrow,” Naruto says.

“I’m . . . I’m glad you like it.”

Sasuke lets his eyes find Sai’s and he nods. “We do.”

Something akin to playfulness creeps across Sai’s face. “Well, if you ever decide to take up painting, Sasuke, I suppose this is my submission to be your teacher.”

“I think . . . I think we don’t need another painter. One of you is plenty.”

“Damn, that’s good!” Iruka’s voice startles Sasuke out of his stupor.

“He’s very talented,” Yamato says.

“Very,” Kakashi agrees. “I don’t think the sake I brought holds a candle to this as a housewarming gift.”

“Thank you again for that,” Sakura says.

“Are you going to hang it up?” Iruka asks.

“Tomorrow,” the three of them say in unison.

“Well,” Sai stands up. “I think I ought to head home now. I don’t think I can top that.”

“Yeah, it is getting late,” Yamato run a hand through his hair.

“And we ought to leave these three to their night,” Iruka agrees.

“Goodnight, is what they’re saying, I think,” Kakashi jokes. Iruka elbows him in the ribs and Yamato shakes his head, but the three of them head for the door with Sai close behind. The goodbyes are pleasant, but Sasuke’s mind is still so stuck on the painting he’s hardly present for them.

“Goodnight, Sasuke,” Sai says, as the others all talk over one another with their farewells.

“Goodnight, Sai. Thank you for the painting.” He’s wary, but he is truly thankful and it feels good to be honest.

Sai smiles, and this one is tinged with enough melancholy that Sasuke knows it must be real. “It is rather beautiful, isn’t it? I hope it captured something for you. It did for me.”

At a complete loss for words, Sasuke just nods.

“Have a good night, Sasuke. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.”

As he closes the door behind the departing guests, Sasuke does not feel threatened by Sai’s words. When Sakura puts a hand on the small of his back and Naruto drops his forehead against his shoulder with a loud proclamation of exhaustion, Sasuke thinks that he might like to do this again some time.


End file.
